Exclusive Interview with the Founder of Tantra Massage Prague s.r.o.

(respondent: Bc. Michaela Lynnette Torstenová)

You are the founder of a prestigious center for tantric massage. How did you actually come to tantra, and why did you decide to devote yourself to tantric massage?

My path to tantra began when I was eighteen, when I found a flyer in the hallway of a language school for a course that happened to start that very day. Out of curiosity I called, and that same day I set off for the course. I was thrilled. I met open, educated people who did not want to be limited by conventions. They wanted to sing, dance, experience freedom and themselves within it. It sparked a desire in me to learn more. It was something that made sense. I met my then boyfriend there and together we enrolled in a two year tantric training that brought us very close. After it ended, I was invited to a weekend tantra course as an assistant. During the Friday introduction circle, two men from Germany also introduced themselves. They had just completed a tantric massage course and wanted to open their own tantra salon in Germany. Before that they wanted to try their art in practice, so they offered two women from the course the chance to try a tantric massage for free. I have always been curious, so I was the first to sign up. It was an amazing two and a half hours of focused care, tenderness and pleasure centered on me. I felt that the masseur sensed every inhalation and exhalation and looked only for what would bring me joy. I felt like a queen. It was wonderful. The beautiful experience was still resonating in me when, less than a week later, the teacher of that course called to ask whether I would like to try a four handed tantric massage together with her. At that time I had only a classic massage course, experience from the training, and my own experiences, but Denisa told me not to worry, that she would lead the whole thing. I agreed and again had a very lovely experience. I have been a very creative person since youth, so I asked my boyfriend to be my guinea pig and began working on my own technique and approach. After about a month of experimenting and reflecting it was born, and I set out to explore the effects of my tantric massage in practice. The field here was fairly untilled. Tantric massage was only just beginning in the Czech Republic at that time. I had successes and most clients returned. After two years I opened my own tantric center, expanded and systematized my technique, and began to teach tantric massage myself. People now come to me to learn the Inner Wave technique from the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and occasionally from abroad. I have even taught an Indian student.

Most clients surely wonder what the masseuse herself feels during a tantric massage. What are those feelings like?

The role of a tantric masseuse is very specific. A tantric masseuse has to learn a lot about the human body, psychology, tension and relaxation, and above all she must know from her own experience how tantra works with sexual energy and how to convey these experiences to the client. In this ritual the masseuse is a guide and leads the client the entire time. It is therefore important that she be attuned and experience the massage together with the client. The feelings are usually arousal and tenderness. Sometimes it is also a sense of caring. After the massage there is joy and a feeling of fulfillment when she sees a radiant and relaxed client. Finally, there is a sense of meaningful work. It can also happen that the masseuse experiences unpleasant feelings, especially with clients who do not respect the boundaries of tantric massage and ask for sex, for example. Then the masseuse cannot concentrate on the massage and the client, but on maintaining the framework of the massage and her own boundaries. Such a tantric massage does not satisfy the client or the masseuse. Fortunately, there are few such clients now.

Are your customers mostly men or women? What is their usual age? How old were the youngest and the oldest?

Tantric massage is still more popular with men, who tend to have more courage to enter something unfamiliar. Women usually receive it as a gift from a partner or a friend, but there are also those who book by themselves. As awareness of tantra grows and with friends sharing about their own experience, the number of women is gradually increasing. The youngest female client was twenty and the oldest male client was seventy eight.

Has it ever happened that a client wanted to move into a sexual realm and asked for more than a tantric massage?

Yes. Clients sometimes ask whether it would be possible to go further than we offer, but for tantric massage the key is a feeling of safety and certainty for both receiver and giver, as well as not crossing the boundaries of either. During a tantric massage the receiver experiences the role of the one who is cared for, and it is not good to move into an active role. The masseuse must be able to communicate this to the client and maintain the framework of the massage.

Can a female client choose whether she wants to be massaged by a man or a woman? What do they prefer?

Yes. Men can even choose too. Women usually prefer a woman for the first visit. They expect that a woman will understand their body better, be more sensitive, and that they will not feel shy in front of her. On the second or third visit they then choose a man. There are also women who prefer the male female polarity from the very beginning. They are often surprised by men’s sensitivity and receptivity. Tantric masseurs in my center are selected very carefully and often have artistic leanings, for example. There is also the option of four handed tantric massage, where clients can have both a man and a woman at the same time.

When a client decides to go for a tantric massage, should they prepare in any particular way? In brief, how does it proceed?

Clients receive everything necessary for the massage directly at our center. Preparation is more about creating enough space before and after the massage so that nothing is rushed or tense, and not running straight to work or an important meeting. Before the massage it is also good not to have a heavy meal so the body does not have to focus on digestion. After arriving at the center the client is led by the masseur or masseuse to the massage room. The whole meeting begins with a conversation in which they learn all about the course of the tantric massage and have the chance to express their wishes, expectations, and concerns. In addition to information the client also receives fruit, chocolate, and beverages of choice. After a shower the selected tantric massage begins with an opening ritual while standing, during which the masseur or masseuse relaxes and attunes the receiver. After the ritual they are laid on the futon. The first part of the tantric massage is without oil and uses long strokes to release tension and stress from the body. Then comes a massage with warm towels and lavender oil, a sensitizing massage with soft furs, feathers, and silk scarves, and a full body massage with warm almond oil, whose culmination is an intimate massage of the lingam for men or the yoni for women and the pelvic floor, which usually ends in orgasm. After the massage the receiver is again wrapped in a scarf and cared for, including the option to relax and have refreshments. If they feel like it, they can then talk with the masseur or masseuse about the experience. If not, they simply say goodbye. The ritual is designed for the maximum satisfaction of the receiving woman or man, and everything happens in line with their needs.

What is the interest in couple’s tantric massage? Has there ever been a jealous outburst during it?

About two to three couples a week come to us for couple’s tantric massage. This massage is a very specific matter. For some couples it is important to be together in one room, while for others the partner’s presence is distracting and they cannot fully immerse themselves in their own experience. Couples can therefore choose whether they want to experience the couple’s tantric massage in one room or each in their own space. Women whose partners are more jealous usually choose a female masseuse, toward whom the partner is typically less jealous. Jealousy has appeared only once, in a situation where the partner enjoyed the massage very much and reached orgasm, which upset his partner who had been looking forward to a night of lovemaking and expected the tantric massage to provide only pleasant attunement for it. Many things are possible, but it is important to tell us your wishes and also to communicate them to your partner.

Many salons do not offer couple’s massage. In what way is it more complicated than the individual one?

Couples are a very specific clientele. Working with a couple is always more demanding than with an individual, because partners bring to the massage not only their personal themes, such as fears, shame, or negative sexual experiences, but also relationship themes. Sometimes it happens that one partner enjoys the massage while the other is jealous and, instead of focusing on the experience here and now, is angry at the partner, wondering whether they are not enjoying it too much. Motivation is also important. Sometimes one partner literally drags the other along because their sex life at home is not working and they want to address it, while the other half may not be so troubled by it. Sometimes the tantric massage thus becomes more like couple’s therapy, which requires a high quality team with a lot of experience, something many centers do not have. Working with couples is more complicated, but it often brings the greatest satisfaction. Sometimes we see a couple transform before our eyes. People are different before and after the massage. Suddenly you can see a certain ease and relaxation in them. Instead of bickering they hold hands. Then we know we have done good work.

Which couples do you recommend a shared massage to, and which do you advise against it?

Couples who communicate openly and are tolerant have a certain advantage. Such couples come to us to rest, recharge, and find inspiration, and to experience a pleasant romantic evening enriched by this ancient art. For couples where there is a problem in the relationship, tantric massage works as a catalyst. Couples then have the opportunity to address the problem in a protected environment and move it forward. The problems can vary. Someone does not know how to communicate about their intimate needs and therefore experiences long term frustration and dissatisfaction. Someone feels not attractive or desirable enough, does not know how to touch their partner, rushes too much, or lacks imagination. Someone does not feel good in their body, has trouble reaching orgasm or maintaining an erection. In all this, tantric massage can gradually help and be very healing. Tantric massage does require a certain courage and willingness to enter a process of exploration and experiment. We do not recommend a tantric massage only if one of the partners does not agree to it or is excessively afraid of it. Even fear can be worked with. In such a case we recommend one or two preparatory sessions where we explore possible concerns together.

What should partners discuss and consider regarding a couple’s massage before deciding to undergo it?

Tantric massage teaches us to feel our body, intimacy, and arousal more clearly. It is important that each partner feels comfortable and free and can focus on their own experience during the massage. Sometimes one partner is worried that the other will be jealous and therefore blocks their own experience. In such a case we recommend that partners have the first massage in separate rooms and only the second time together, when they have a better idea of what to expect. Partners should therefore discuss what the presence of the other does to them and whether they will feel shy in front of each other. It is also important that they clarify how far they want the tantric massage to go. The boundaries should always be set according to the less daring partner and can be shifted gradually.

Are the couple’s effects noticeable after the first massage, or are more sessions needed?

The first couple’s tantric massage is usually a very powerful experience. People’s perception of intimacy, sexuality, and closeness changes. The relationship is enlivened and communication about intimate topics and mutual needs starts to flow. The tantric experience often ignites a spark that has long been extinguished. A person realizes what they want and what they need. Some of our clients want to learn the massage themselves so they can enjoy it with their partner, or they want to come again to deepen and expand the experience. Sometimes the problems are complicated and deeper in nature, and then more experience is needed to reach the desired state. Longer term work is needed, for example, in cases of sexual abuse of one partner, erectile difficulties, or low desire for lovemaking.

This type of massage often includes genital massage. Many salons do not provide it. Do you know why?

In tantric massage we approach a person as a whole being and we want them to experience that all parts of their body, including the intimate ones, are worthy of love and tenderness and that there is no need to feel ashamed of them. Another reason for intimate massage is the awakening of sexual energy, which stands at the very roots of tantra, where sexual energy is perceived as a driving force that awakens us, activates us, and brings renewal and a feeling of life force. The receiver learns surrender and acceptance of their own body and its expressions. Intimate massage is of course not mandatory, so if a client does not feel ready for it, it can be omitted, but otherwise it should belong to tantric massage. The reason some centers do not include it may be a fear that they cannot maintain boundaries and that the massage would turn into an erotic one.

I know that tantric massage, among other things, awakens sexual energy. If someone does not consent to genital massage, what happens with that energy? Does not its lack of release lead to frustration?

In Western culture people often approach sexuality with a utilitarian aim. First they try to awaken sexual energy and then release it again as quickly as possible through orgasm. This approach does not lead to deeper fulfillment, so often even after orgasm we do not feel inwardly satisfied. In tantra sexual energy is awakened and, with the help of breath and touch, is further distributed throughout the body. The aim is not discharge, but the attainment of a high level of energy, in which tantrikas learn to remain. Whether orgasm comes or does not come is not essential. In tantra we also distinguish an internal orgasm, during which there is no ejaculation and no associated loss of energy, but a person experiences it as a deeply fulfilling feeling throughout the whole body. If we learn to remain in a high level of energy, this state is not experienced as frustration, but as a state of a certain fullness and happiness.

A layperson asks. What is the difference between tantric and erotic massage?

In an erotic massage you pay for a woman who will provide oral or manual satisfaction for your money. The whole experience lasts thirty to forty five minutes and it is only about that one thing. Tantric massage has a completely different approach to the person, to intimacy, to arousal, and to the goal of the massage itself. The masseuse is a guide who initiates you into the secrets of tantric experience, teaches you proper breathing, trust, self acceptance, and deep relaxation of body and mind. She teaches a purposeless way of experiencing nakedness and arousal and introduces you to the secrets of the internal orgasm. The massage is not governed by the client’s demands and it is not about ejaculation.

Can you give us a few tips on how to recognize a reputable salon?

A tantric massage should not be shorter than ninety minutes of pure massage. There should also be extra time for a conversation before the massage, during which the entire course of the ritual is explained thoroughly and you have the chance to share what brings you to the center. Be careful with centers that offer sixty minute massages including intimate massage or that employ only young, beautiful masseuses. Photos of women in lingerie or provocative poses are also suspicious. If you want to be sure, ask whether you can order oral sex, for example. Avoid any center that offers such services, because they are only pretending tantra and are in fact hidden erotic services. A tantric masseuse should have tantric education in the form of at least a fifty hour course or training with a qualified teacher, as well as a massage course accredited by the Ministry of Education, Youth and Sports. Psychological and therapeutic skills are an advantage.

You also offer tantric massage courses. Do clients take them more to pursue massage professionally, or to enrich their own relationships? Do you receive feedback?

It is roughly sixty to forty. More clients learn tantric massage to enrich their own lives. A portion wants to practice tantric massage as a profession, and these are usually women. I then offer the most skilled a job in my center. Among clients there are more and more men who want to surprise their partner with the art of tantric massage or who want to understand women and their needs better.

Do you personally prefer a tantric massage from a woman or from a man?

To be honest, whether the giver is a man or a woman is less important than who the giver is as a person and a personality. The giver must inspire sympathy and pleasant feelings in me. During the massage I prefer a sensitive, sincere, and open approach without demands for a specific outcome. Every tantric massage is an exploratory journey into the unknown, and it depends on the giver where they will accompany the receiver, and perhaps where they will take them. I like surprises. To be able to relax, I need to know that I can go only as far as my body will allow, and that no one expects anything from me. Then a tantric massage is the real experience for me and for clients.