Most women don’t look for and don’t plan it, but up to 40% end up in a lover’s embrace and although many of them suffer from the feeling of guilt, they can’t resist the forbidden encounters and continue in the amorous adventure. A woman’s infidelity is different from a man’s. Understand the reasons that lead women to infidelity and discover the key to her faithfulness and to preserving a content relationship.
Why are women unfaithful?
Recently I came across a research that searched for reasons leading women to infidelity. The results show that the key to a woman’s unfaithfulness is in her emotions. A woman content in her relationship can be attracted to a man, yet she won’t cheat on her partner, while a woman who is unsatisfied will give herself over to a less attractive lover who will meet her emotional needs. So why are women unfaithful?
From lack of love
Do you remember the time you were courting her? Romantic dinners, evening walks along the river, a morning coffee in a trendy café and breakfast in bed? When she started going out with you she felt loved and desired. She was probably telling all her friends she’d met a wonderful guy, she praised you and radiated happiness like a Christmas tree. Your charm and attention worked as an aphrodisiac and your loved one ended up in your arms, content she’d found the man of her dreams.
Most men unfortunately think that once they get their woman, it’s all settled and the woman is theirs. What comes next is socks lying around the house, a pint with friends and football matches instead of looking into her eyes and long time spent in bed. They forget that today’s emancipated and independent women want to be loved and desired throughout the relationship, not just at the start. So be frank and a little self-critical; what do you think she tells her friends about you today? When there is an eager colleague at work who sometimes brings her a cup of coffee, invites her for lunch plus cares about her soul, many women can’t resist and open their heart to them and with it the door to their bedroom. In numbers it’s 40% of them.
What to do about it
First admit the fact that the times women were tied in a partnership are long gone. With the change of times and social structure the values that we uphold and that influence our everyday decision making have also changed. More than ever before, today’s women realise that life is too short and they desire immediate and long-term happiness. Does she not feel loved by you? If you don’t do anything about it soon, she’ll look for her happiness elsewhere.
Think about the things she loves and that make her happy. Heap her with little gifts and show her that you cherish her. A present here and there in the form of chocolate or flowers, an interesting book or a massage voucher will delight every woman. At least once a week take her out for dinner, a salsa lesson or surprise her with tickets to the theatre. Ask what her day was like, hug her before going to sleep and let her know you find her attractive and desirable.
From the desire for adventure
Not only men, but women too want adventure and excitement, especially if they need to get back some self-esteem and heal a damaged ego. Each woman in the depth of her soul wants her husband to treat her with respect, she wants to feel beautiful and she is turned on if her partner woos her and compliments her. Most women want to be surprised and wonder what they can expect from you in bed (and not only there). They simply want to be the centre of their partner’s attention, the glorified and pampered goddesses.
Do you want to keep her just for yourself? Try to imagine the last six months of your relationship and look the truth in the eyes. Are you always busy with your work, hobbies, beer with friends and “witty” programmes on TV, while your partner is taking care of the household, the kids and family wellbeing? Do you wear torn, unfitting clothing in front of her, do you fart and burp and rather than “my love, I want you” she gets to hear “goal”? Is your lovemaking slightly different every time or can the process and length be anticipated with the precision of a Swiss watch? Do you praise other women in front of her or the advantages of masturbation while watching porn? Believe me, your wife will not appreciate it. It’s not only that men want to court, but women want to be courted by an attractive man. If your partner does not feel desired, she might look for affection in the arms of an attentive lover. The embrace and admiration of another man substitute the lost self-confidence and give her the power and feeling of femininity.
What to do about it
Stay the sexy man she desires. Would you like your partner to fart in the evening, spit here and there and scratch between her legs while watching a soap opera?
From lack of sex
Women between thirty and forty years of age are at the top of their sexual life, while male sexual appetite gradually falls after thirty. For women these years are biologically the last chance to have a baby, their body is thus constantly flooded with hormones of desire. While a woman wants to make love almost daily, the average man would prefer a quiet evening with friends and beer. If a woman feels sexually unsatisfied for a long time, she will probably look for sexual pleasure elsewhere.
What to do about it
Raise your testosterone levels
If you’re not one of those men who have naturally high levels of testosterone or if you’re not between twenty and thirty years of age, get a gym pass and start caring about what you eat and how you look. The fitter you are, the higher the testosterone level and the greater your sexual appetite. Sport stamina will enhance your bed abilities, because you won’t get tired soon and you will be able to satisfy your partner better.
Make love the Tantra way
Victorian times are long gone and most modern men know that before they get their own orgasm during lovemaking, it is important to first satisfy their partner. Did you know though that a woman can have several orgasms during sex? Get to know Tantra breathing techniques, learn to control your pelvic floor muscles and give your partner a several-hour long lovemaking adventure that will make her excited for days after. You can learn Tantra lovemaking techniques and approaches for example in our School of Tantra sex
Throw away your inhibitions and use your imagination
Women love confident men with imagination who know what to do in bed and can bring them to a state where they stop controlling themselves. Forget mechanic movements or too much softness. Women love a combination of rough manhood with loving gentleness and tenderness. Long looks in the eyes, deep kissing, slow penetration as well as rough sex with hair holding and bottom spanking. Make love to her in the kitchen leaning against the worktop, kneeling on the floor or in a comfortable bed and let her experience a two-hour long love meditation that rises and falls in waves.
As a retribution
Have you ever been unfaithful to your partner? Do you eye other women in front of her or even comment on their beauty? Although it might not look it, women are as self-conceited as men and even though she might not say anything (any longer), she sees all your remarks and looks and stores them deep in her memory. She will usually recall them at the moment when she’s making the decision whether to move a bit further with the man who is flirting so bravely with her.
What to do about it
Make her feel she is the only one in the world
If you like to look at other women and you admire their qualities, do it in the company of your friends who, unlike your partner, will understand it. But if you are in her company, never even think of looking into the cleavage of a good-looking waitress or admiring the bottom of a girl passing by saying: “Have you seen that rump?” let alone accompanied by: “Maybe you should also start to exercise.” This way you’d be asking for trouble. Be gallant and attentive and make sure she is happy to be in your company. A woman who feels loved and pampered will think twice about being unfaithful. Where else would she find a great guy like you?
Go to partnership therapy
If you’d been unfaithful and your girlfriend or wife has found out it has probably caused deep scars in the relationship. Even though she might try to forgive you, deep inside she’s probably furious or she is drowning in self-pity. This creates breeding ground for a future affair which she’ll use to heal her lost self-confidence and the scars on the soul. Couples therapy that will uncover deeply lodged feelings can help you with infidelity and help you to heal the wounds so that your partner doesn’t need a lover’s embrace.