Lingam massage is a frequently discussed part of tantra massage. There are various motivations of interest. Health experts are interested how massage can influence erectile dysfunction from physiological and psycho somatic points of view, while women mostly desire to raise the quality of their partner sexual life. And of course there is negative perspective of seeing lingam (or penis) massage as a priori technique aimed at sexual needs and reaching orgasm, which is a false perception, yet very strongly rooted. A scene from my favourite series can illustrate what does is the massage really about.
Many of you are acquainted with American HBO series Sex and the city. It is a story of four successful women in New York whose main theme all through the series is their sexual life experience. One of the most successful scenes on part of TV viewers leads the main heroin to a seminar of intimate tantra lingam massage. Well, let´s have a look at the scene first. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5WlJPSyhQ4
And now let’s see what the scene actually pictures from tantra point of view regardless of comicality of the moment I hope you enjoyed the same as me. Series specialist guiding through tantra massage says: „The real objective of tantra sex we call spiritual sexuality, is to try connecting with the etheric.“ Joy of sex is given out of all animal species primarily to humans who are gifted with abstract thinking and ability to be aware of transcendentalism. Tantra along with shamanism and similar spiritual paths uses ecstasy as a path of dissolving ego and limits of dualism between body and soul, material and abstract thinking. While some movements use psychotropic substances to reach spiritual experience and modified states of consciousness, current tantra works directly with the body in form of breathing techniques, massages, yoga or sex, which incorporates most of the listed techniques.
„Tantra sex is not based on words but actions.“ One of many problems of the Western world is thinking as such. You may have heard the words „living inside your head“. Basically that means our experiences and perception happens as part of a virtual brain world. But as human beings we use more than just rational mind; we need to experience things personally, “close to own skin”. To live life actively and not just think as we pass though it might sound trivial, but it is not at all; to make a metaphor, it is similar to reading adventure books and never actually leaving your own room. Obviously I am far from tempting anyone to endeavour headlong experimenting into whatever there is to try without thinking about possible consequences at all. But I surely recommend and prefer active enjoyment of life and relationships, listening to your heart and instincts minimally the same as we follow our ordering and commanding reasoning mind. I heartily vote for spontaneity preferred to learned perfectionism and thinking of every word and expression.
When even sex, the most instinctive and spontaneous act of all, is to become a series of movements, sounds and expressions as presented in pornographic movies of all kinds, along with thinking of what we look like during the act, whether we moan the way our partner expects us or if we already tried an adequate number of positions and orgasm becomes a directed target so intensely we rather fake it, it is about time to say something has gone very wrong indeed.
„The objective is to prolong pleasure.“ Pleasure fulfils our life with enriching joy; it teaches us to appreciate our body as an instrument and an originator of pleasure. Indeed it is good to appreciate our boy. Tantra teaching contains a number of techniques such as breathing and training of pelvis bottom muscle strengthening, which allow us to enjoy sexual excitement for a longer time and more intensely.
„I will now demonstrate a very successful lingam massage.“ Here we are getting to the gist of the matter. Lingam or penis massage has three main functions in tantra massage. The first level is psychological. Despite an open attitude of modern society towards sexuality male genitals are often taboo or even caricatured. The attention is either completely off the genitals (for example gender-less doll Ken) or it is focused directly and only at them as if they could live independent on their owner. Tantra massage relates intimate area to the whole body and mutually interconnects them. A man gets information his body is accepted in integrity and never judged or parcelled.
The other effect is purely physiological. With age the ability of erection declines. It is caused by higher blood circulation of erective corpuscles in penis and abdomen. Depending on life style and simple “wear and tear” the blood vessels get obstructed and stop functioning effectively. A massage mechanically releases vessel deposits, the abdominal area, groins and penis and naturally also the functioning improves with repeating the procedure.
And last third reason is spiritual and ritual. The word „Linga“, from which lingam derives means a symbol or a sign leading to conclusion in Sanskrit. Therefore lingam means identification and a symbol through which it can be discovered what is real and true. „Lingam is what we cannot see but still can be identified.“ With a massage of lingam, a source and means of male energy and power, we worship, accept and awake its potential.
„Who accepts pleasure lies naked on his or her back in front of the one who gives pleasure.“ There are many positions suitable for a massage and each of them has its inner significance. For partners and especially new ones a massage face to face is really the most suitable for it symbolises equality. Also it allows for the simplest path to intimate organs and the whole front of body we touch during intimate massage to help a receiver fell pleasure consciously all through the body and lead sexual energy further. The beginner couples it also suits for being able to follow reactions of a receiver or make eye contact, through which you deepen intimacy.
„Genitals are fully exposed to massage.” This sentence relates to what I have described in the previous paragraph and brings new information. Today only few people devote to sexual activities in the darkness and under the sheets only, yet direct nudity or full-frontal of gender is rather symbolic and leads to accepting the whole body and refusing taking some parts as taboo.
„Do it slowly.” Very simple and clear information seems quite an issue to many beginners who find it difficult to slow down. Nowadays are used to moving fast, dynamically and effectively. It is important to give massage rhythmically, very fluently and slowly. The body receives information on being safe and easily relaxes into almost a meditative state.
„One and a half an hour later, we were crippled by our inability to look away…“ This time period might have surprised you, but it is no hyperbole. Intimate massage can take an hour and half long and even more. An experienced giver can hold a receiver on the border of orgasm even several hours. It is a very energising, meditative and fascinating state; at the same time it can be very physically and mentally demanding on a receiver who cannot work with the power of sexual energy. As always it is important to emphatically follow reactions of a receiver who should on no account show any signs of pain or heavy tiredness.
„We watched as the doctor Shapiro illustrated tantric sex.“ Not the serial doctor but Carrie, one of the main characters speaks the words. I feel the need to comment. What the heroines observe is not tantric sex but simply a massage that can be an initial technique towards tantric sex. Through tantra massage a man learns to observe positions of a receiver and a giver being fully present in the body.
„Massage the head of lingam as if you are using an orange juicer.“ The metaphor entertains the ladies on screen, yet there really exists a movement called juicer. It stimulates blood circulation in the head of penis, which is not only an erogenous zone, but also a reflex zone connected to the head and face of a receiver.
„Place your right hand on the root chakra of a receiver. The root chakra is located between the anus and genitals. Gently rub your hand to awaken this chakra, clinically referred to as perineum.” Chakras (whirls or circles in Sanskrit), are energy centres referring to seven basic areas of life placed along the spine. Problems with certain chakra indicate the given area needs exploring and healing. Essentially it is a very well elaborated system of work with psychosomatics significantly on a spiritual level. During tantra massage all seven chakras are harmonised and connected. The mentioned root chakra is also called the first chakra (called muládhára in Sanskrit). As the serial doctor correctly stated it is located on the perineum and relates to back bone and pelvis bottom; vital energy, instincts, preservation of species and survival. The result of harmonised root chakra is self-confidence, life stamina, creativity, grounding and trusting own existence. Problems in the chakra cause inability to accept oneself, lack of confidence, anxiety and fears. This is the symbols of the root chakra:
„Orgasms is not the goal of lingam massage but can be very pleasant and welcome side effect.“ The issue of tantra and orgasm is large and not easy to refer to in brief and truly. Orgasm is an instinctive, involuntary and natural body reaction to intense excitement. During tantra massage the body is completely accepted with all its reactions without any shame or judgement and orgasm is therefore also accepted. Nevertheless it is really important not to make it a goal, because it means pressure man to performance and especially those with an psycho somatic issue of reaching erection or orgasm, ejaculation is so stressful it completely blocks and enjoyment. It is quite all right for a receiver to experience an orgasm as well as not having one. Tantra leads us to full use of our sexual potential for example teaches us to enjoy so called all body orgasm, which is a state of ecstasy free from ejaculation and any loss of energy. For inner orgasm a complete loss of conscious control is typical along with full devotion to bodily enjoyment.
„Watch what I do. If you can master this, your man will be always faithful.“ This is the final sentence of the scene and it is where I finish my commentary. If you want to learn the art of tantra massage and enrich your partnership and sexual life, you needn’t participate in seminars in other people´s flats or risk getting offended by stranger´s semen. On http://www.tantramasaze.com/en/tantra-massage-prague-school-of-tantra-massage.asp you find a large offer of our courses you can choose from. I will be glad to meet you in person!
© 1998 - 2015,
Tantra Massage Prague, Ltd., Grafická 1216/25 (entrance: Na Čečeličce 5), Prague 5. IČ: 24688142.